"God loves losers"

And Levi [aka Matthew] made Jesus a great feast in his house, and there was a large company of tax collectors and others reclining at table with them. And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at his disciples, saying, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?" And Jesus answered them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." (Luke 5:29-32)

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Countdown: 9 days until I fly to Guatemala.

As my trip to Guatemala draws nearer, of course my fears and insecurities are starting to creep closer to the forefront of my mind. What has been just the dream or thought of going to Guatemala is very soon going to be a reality. What if I'm oblivious to cultural/social cues and accidentally offend someone? What if I'm not energetic or extroverted enough for the girls to like me? Am I going to get flustered not being able to express myself in English the majority of the time? What if I say the wrong word in Spanish and end up looking stupid? (Or worse, what if I use the indicative when it's supposed to be subjunctive? Haha)

At the root of many of my insecurities is a fear of failure and of disappointing people (including myself).

A discussion with some friends this past Friday night has helped to put things in perspective for me and remind me what God thinks about people who are failures. My church's Young Adults group gathered at someone's home Friday evening to enjoy desserts and to discuss a couple different topics, one of which was based on the article "Being a Loser and the Freedom to Fail" by Ed Welch. During the discussion a friend shared about how she wishes she had been more open about her struggles and weaknesses while she was abroad for a six-week mission trip last summer, and not been afraid to ask for help. "After all," she said, "God's power is made perfect in weakness [2 Corinthians 12:9], and Jesus came for the sick, not the righteous [Luke 5:32, above]." Since I'm leaving soon for a longer short-term mission trip like my friend did last summer, her comment resonated with me. As I listened to her, I realized that without a doubt I am going to fail and struggle in a lot of ways while I'm in Guatemala, and also without a doubt my pride is going to motivate me to try and hide my weaknesses and failures. But I need to remember that when I am weak (and allow myself to appear weak), God's strength shines through more clearly and the credit for any success goes to him, as he deserves. It's the sick who need a doctor, not those who are healthy. It's sinners who need a savior, not righteous people. In other words, it's the losers who need help, not people who have it all together. God loves losers. After all, he sent Jesus to save losers who can't help themselves. Recognizing our status as losers/failures points us to our need for God. I think it's important to realize that everyone (yes, you too!) is one of those "losers" that Jesus died for. There isn't a single person who doesn't need God's saving grace and help from the only Physician capable of healing the spiritually sick.

I'm a perfectionist at heart (which probably explains why it's taken me a couple hours to "perfect" this post L), but it's time for me to accept the fact that I can't and won't be perfect, and to allow God's power and strength to work through me in spite of my own weaknesses and failures. As another friend at the discussion said, "We all like the idea that God loves losers... but we still don't want to be a loser." It's not going to be easy to let go of my pride...but thank goodness God doesn't expect us to pull us up by our own bootstraps, because then we'd really be in trouble. I hope this summer I will learn some valuable lessons about the freedom to fail and consequently the ability to receive grace from God and, hopefully, other people.